before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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