You can't motorboat a personality
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
