You made me cry and you don't even care
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize