she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
