nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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