this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize