OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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