Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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