We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
