I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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