I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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