I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
