You kept calling me your small dog last night.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
