My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
My vagina just recognized that song.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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