I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
