I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
