So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Mom said you looked used
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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