you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Randomize
