Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
She told me I should be a condom model.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
But break dance skills will only take you so far
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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