I forgot how hot balto sounded
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
