please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
