so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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