I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
