I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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