worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
i need some magic done to my vagina
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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