Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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