there's paper in my vomit.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Randomize