There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
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