the day after is always just damage control
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
