Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I wish my penis had an off switch
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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