The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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