white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
he fucked my hip out of place.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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