Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
