Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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