is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
