Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
