I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
