you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize