Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
