you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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