I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
pray to the hookup gods
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
