shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
