I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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