What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
