I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
