I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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