drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
i think i just lost a toe
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
