You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
