You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize