so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
