brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
