Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
