the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
