It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
