Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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