Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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