We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
That reminds me...we need to get swords
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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