Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize