literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
