Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
