So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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