It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
