I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My penis needs a shock collar
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
